This week we were privileged to meet some really nice ladies that shared their experiences and questions with us. One was still in the hospital having just had surgery. The another was a few weeks out from surgery and was just beginning to experience solid food.
One of the overall patterns that Jennifer and I noticed was the look of abject fear on one person’s face when they asked about eating bread and noodles. Her question was why was bread hard to swallow. Bread is hard to swallow because it is a sponge and attracts all the liquid in your stomach and becomes a lump that is hard to digest! That is why bread is one of the last foods you should try to eat after surgery.
Obviously, in her pre-surgery class this was not covered. The next question was about eating noodle soup. My question to her was “Why”? Why, if you chose to have the surgery to lose unwanted weight would you revert immediately to eating the comfort food that got you obese to start with? Well, I wasn't quite that blunt, but really, Why!
The pre-surgery class I went through was about 30 minutes of discussion, a video of the surgery, and a large packet of information to read prior to the surgery.
Folks, this is a huge decision to make and a huge surgery with huge change in lifestyle and thought process. It should not have an hour of limited information. When my Dad had knee surgery he had a three hour class on the replacement surgery. I don’t think our surgeons realize that bariatric surgery is much more life changing that knee replacement. Hey, they are removing my best friend, it has helped me through stress, pain, and grief. Why doesn’t the removal of ¾ of my stomach need as much attention as the replacement of a knee joint????
This is the reason pre-surgery classes are so important and in lieu of not having that: Support Groups help get you through the realization that you can’t go back, you can only go forward and to do that you need good positive information on how to eat and live with your new stomach.
Support groups should be there for positive answers to your questions.
They should always be moderated by someone who has been through the surgery and if possible someone who is a medical professional. An office manager does not meet that requirement! There should never be food offered. It is not a party, we are not there to eat, we are there to learn.
The best support group I have ever attended met all those requirements. There are support groups going on somewhere every night. I know in the Dallas Fort Worth Area where we live there are at least 7 that take place every month. Because we are weak humans we need the support to help us learn new techniques and recipes for controlling our appetite. I have through the years met people who needed help on a weekly and even a daily basis to get through the first 6 months after their surgeries. This is completely okay! We are relearning habits that we have had all our lives. And most of us are old enough that retraining needs repetitive learning to stick.
Another issue that came to light is the Psychological evaluation. The insurance companies require that we have the evaluation so that we understand the ramifications of the surgery.
In other words they are covering themselves by saying you answered all the questions and are completely able to understand the process of the surgery. What they don’t take into consideration is that we are long term obese people who have worked hard to become large overweight people. We eat because of many issues. These issues are not addressed.
Now I am not saying that we need long term psychological analysis. I just think we need a little more than filling out a sheet of paper telling the councilor how many diets we have been on and how much weight we have gained or lost in the last 2-5 years. To me this visit was a one shot, very unsatisfying and really the counselor I met with really had to clue what the long term changes were going to happen to my body and mind. The counselor that Jennifer met with was much more informed and was the person that gave us the idea for “7 Bites” so I know that there are good counselors out there but they are not the norm, they are few and far between.
I believe that the support group is the place where we counsel each other in a non threatening environment with lots of love and support for each other. This is why support groups are so important for us recovering foodaholics.
The last issue that I recognized is that many people pay cash for their surgeries and travel across state lines or on airplanes to get to their bariatric surgeons. This is hard on the patient and can be very frustrating for the hospital staff as traveling immediately after surgery can
have serious complications. This is another issue that because of distance is very difficult for the patient to plug into a good support system.
A lot of the surgeons have online support groups and I for one don’t believe that online support should ever take the place of face to face support. For those that travel long distances this sounds like a good way to keep informed and may help but is not the best way to get personal support.
I have seen too many of these support groups become “gripe sessions” and without face to face interaction the posts often are left unanswered. There is no support it is only a place to make arbitrary statements, get a thousand answers that may or may not really answer your questions.
Meeting face to face we can see the frustration, feel the pain, and give a hug to help others know that we have walked in their shoes. We have felt the things and gone through the steps that they will go through.
I really feel that by plugging into the support group closest to you that success with your surgery is so much more within your reach. The members of your support group will interact with you on your level and allow you to see their failures and success.
An old saying I love is: A wise man learns from the mistakes of others
And we all want to be wise and learn what it takes to become successful in our new lives with our new bodies.
If you are not able to plug into a face to face support group plug in to our facebook page Official 7Bites Group Jennifer and I monitor it daily and will do our best to get answers to your questions and if we don’t know the answer we will find someone who does. We are not ever going to take the place of a face to face support system but we can supplement and build some fun online friendships.
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