We have heard from many of you about family and friends being non supportive with your decision for weight loss surgery. Until this weekend my family has been ultra supportive but one sentence out of my grandson’s mouth made me realize what ya’ll have been going through.
He made the statement that he had been told that I took “ the easy way out to have weight loss”.
First I want to say to this person, I am sorry that you are having to struggle with your weight. I am sorry that circumstances put you in a situation that you have not health insurance to help with your weight loss and have to feed a family on a limited budget. Second I want you to know that even though we don’t agree on many things I love you and want the best for you.
Now! The”easy way out”
Jen and I want to list the things that happen with the “easy way out”!
1. two days in the hospital this is after all Major Surgery even though it is done laparoscopically.
2. a liquid diet for 4 weeks, two weeks before surgery, 2 weeks after surgery.
3. diarrhea for the whole recovery period of 6 weeks minimum and urgent diarrhea for 6 months afterwards (yep that is real easy!)
4. chopped food, really, we try to make it taste good but REALLY! (Yep that is an easy one too)
5. Smell of food making you throw up…(EASY)
6. First bite of solid food! Afraid it won’t be chewed enough and will hurt going down, and it does!! (YEP. easy peasy!!!)
7. Something going down wrong and setting there for and hour then instant slimming….if you don’t know what slimming, is good for you! ( Throwing up, totally easy)
8. Finally feeling like going out to dinner for the first time, scoping out the restroom first so you can make a fast exit! Getting there ready to throw up and there is some one in the only stall, you have to hold it in, then when it is your turn both end decide to empty! (EASY as Pie)
9. THE PAIN. People don’t realize that there is pain involved in this surgery. Incision pain, pain in the back and shoulders - EXTREME pain in the shoulders …(yeah that is really easy)
10. Crying nonstop for two hours because you REALLY want a bite of that cake, but you know that just one bite will send you to the bathroom for an hour (sooo very easy!!)
11. Being stuck at the same weight after you’ve lost 100 lbs, and not being able to lose any more because now you can eat more and you can eat things you couldn’t eat before, so you get back into old pre-surgery habits…(does this sound easy)
12. Being unable to eat over 500 calories a day and still needing to exercise - causing your calorie deficit to be <1 - causing you to have severe drops in blood sugar and/or blood pressure!! (Did someone find the easy button?)
I know I have been graphic and no this did not happen on a daily basis but often enough that I still have a fear of having to go in places that are undesirable. I don’t want to put anyone off that is getting ready for surgery. This decision was the best I have ever made. But the reality is that it is not EASY it is a Journey to a new life. A Journey that you have to be willing to walk on a daily basis for the rest of your life. If you think it is going to be EASY you will be surprised but if you know what to expect it will be the best thing that has ever happened to you.
“Stinkin’ thinkin’” is between our ears and the ears of our loved ones. They can’t get their head around how difficult the process is show them this list and ask, does that look easy? I didn’t even talk about not being able to get food while on vacation because the “un caring family members want to eat at all you can eat “pig trough” restaurants that serve greens and pasta not a bite of substantial protein. That I will save for another time.
I say a prayer for all of you that struggle with family and friends that don’t understand or don’t “want” to understand. I truly have suffered through over 46 different diet programs. I know the frustration of losing 25 pounds to struggle to keep it off and losing that struggle, rebounding up double or more then repeating the cycle. That got me where I was prior to the surgery. And by watching everything I eat, eating protein first then whatever, I am able to maintain but worry everyday that I will fail. Know that Jen and I share your journey, even though we don’t walk in the same shoes we walk the same path. Please add to the above list, I know I just touched the tip of the iceberg but may be it will open some eyes that this is the hardest thing you will ever do because you can’t stop and go back without ruining your health.
*Sue*
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